Fishing Stuff goes here

ME AND TROUT

If a trout bites my hook when I don't look,

How come he don't when I do?

Maybe he's an ornery dude and

can't stand a fisherman who's rude

and takes me for a fool.

A fool I may be, but ornery I ain't

and my friends will tell you so.

I'm a fun loving guy although I'm quite shy,

but all my friends think I'm too bold.

The longer I fish, the smarter the trout,

but I get more stupid without a doubt.

I've read all the books, be that as it may,

I'll break a hook and not even look

'til it's much too late in the day.

I sit on the bank as my beer goes rank,

and I figure it's time to go.

I cuss my bad luck as I look for my truck

and wonder if I'm getting too old.

I think to myself, " old trouts must have sense"

as I inwardly wince and store my gear and pole.

I've caught not a thing, but I can still sing

cause fishing has replenished my soul.

"WHY I FISH"

I fish for the fun of it and the smells of it.

Sometimes I fish just for the plain hell of it.

I fish to enjoy the great outdoors. I fish to get away from my household chores.

I fish to pit my wits against the wily trout. How he beats me with his pea sized brain is hard to figure out.

I fish because it expands my mind. I also fish

because I have the time.

I used to fish to get away from my job.

Now I fish to avoid the "mobs".

Sometimes I fish to get away from my wife,

and more than once this has saved my life.

I've fished with all kinds of "pretty little flies".

And I plan to do so till the day I die.

If as they say," trout fishing is good for the soul",

surely heaven's streams will always run cold.

Bury me with my fly rod and my streamside kit,

so that I can fish as I go down the River Styx.

If the Styx is cold, there'll be trout. If it's hot,

well you figure it out.

You say I fish because of lust! Not so my

friend, I fish because I must!

THE PURIST

I fish with a Pflueger Pack Rod. He fishes with a Sage or a Scott.

Doesn’t make any difference to the fish that we caught.

Fish don’t care what rod we use and faced with a choice

they’d probably not choose.

The “purist” fishes a Betty McNall or other perfect fly.

I fish with a Black Ant or Elk Hair Caddis

cause they’re so easy to tie.

“Expand your horizons, that’s where it’s at”, he says as he ties on a number 16 Claret Gnat. “Don’t be fishing those trash flies, my boy.

Why don’t you try a Ferret Faced Rob Roy.”

To go along with his game, I say I might try a Chauncey, or a Colorado King, or maybe a Coachman with the Royal Fan Wing.

He’s thinking, “another purist I’ve found”,

when I mention that I love the Royal Blue Crown.

He raises his eyebrows as he ponders all that. Then he ties on a pretty Brass Hat. I say a Royal Cubbage is also good, but sometimes I prefer a Fire Coachman Trude.

He says to himself, “A purist for sure, boy this is great.” But when I tie on a Chernobyl Foam Ant, we both know he’s taken my bait.

“A foam ant!” Why would a purist like you stoop to something as trashy as that?” he says as he removes his tattered old hat.

I say with an evil glint in my eyes, “Gotcha, my Friend. I’m not a purist. I’ll just fish my ants and Little foam flies. You fish your classics and I’ll fish my trash and when the end of the day comes we’ll see who was brash.”

NOTE: The Ferret Faced Rob Roy and Royal Blue Crown are my creations.

Not tied yet but soon will be. They do rhyme though, don’t they !!

EARRINGS

By Bill Pitts

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